Wednesday, September 30, 2009

How To Interact With A Man’s Brain And Get Your Message Across

I was flipping channels this morning and landed on a new show hosted by a Dr. Oz (I watched part of it, I didn’t care for the show). He had someone on the show that was talking about what is inside a man’s brain. Seeing that I’ve always wanted to know what goes on in there, I watched for a while. (I am sure my husband wonders the same about a woman’s brain; too bad he doesn’t have his own blog where he can talk about it.)

The guest, whose name I did not catch, says that men can’t take in a lot of detail, so women need to speak with as few words as possible, as men get overwhelmed with details. He also said that women have to repeat information to men often because their memory center is smaller.

Tell me something that I don’t know. My husband and I have a standing joke about how he doesn’t always seem to hear me. Sometimes while speaking to him – sometimes he is looking me right in the eye when I do so – 30 seconds later, he’ll say, “What did you just say?” Or, when I ask him a question that requires a specific answer, I get a yes or no response. For example, “Would you like chicken for dinner or should I get Chinese?” and he responds “yes.” Many times I will give him a bit of information, and 10 minutes later he will ask me a question that makes me realize he didn’t hear a word I said. For example, he may ask, “What did you blog about today” and 10 minutes later, he will ask, “Did you blog today?”

Of course, I am far from perfect, sometimes flooding my husband’s brain with information when he asks a simple question like, “What did you do today?” which to his mind, probably sounds like I am reciting “War and Peace.”

So we came up with a solution. When there is something that is important that I need to say and I think he needs to remember, I preface it with warning beeps, similar to what they use for TV weather warnings and alerts. For example, I may say “Beep beep beep beep beep….I called the plumber and he is coming over on Wednesday.” Just like a TV warning, he looks up and pays attention. So far it has worked every time.

So if you think your husband is not listening to you, try the “beep” routine. It should work, and you won’t have to worry so much about how you should be interacting with a man’s brain. Just remember, keep your message brief, because he may tune you out before your message is over! Now, if I could just get a message to scroll across my head at the same time….

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