The Unsocial Side of Social Media and The Downfall of Civility

Social media sites – Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, to name a few – are increasingly becoming a part of everyone’s lives. Having to maintain various social media sites for my web sites, I’ve experienced both the good and the bad sides of social media. The good side: it’s great way to share information to a wide range of people, keep up to date on news and politics, or follow a favorite TV show or celebrity. The bad side: people behaving badly.

Back in the “old days” - before the Internet, email, and social media sites - people communicated mostly face to face or over the phone. People knew the real names of those to whom they were speaking, so it was important to be civil. It was easy to gauge emotions and to determine if a person was happy, sad, joking, or serious. One never used “fighting words” unless they were prepared for a fight, either physically or verbally. Before opening one’s mouth, it was smart to engage the brain. If a person communicated in writing – such as in a letter or greeting card – it was important to think out the message before writing/typing as changes were time consuming.

As email became available, it promoted communicating with speed, and was quickly embraced by businesses. Those that wrote angry emails and pressed “send” before thinking about the repercussions learned that their anger often diminished their message, alienated people, and sometimes ended careers.

With the Internet also came Internet forums and discussion groups, where members could dialog anonymously. It was fun to share information with others but it didn't take long before civility flew out the window. Now a person could say what they wanted to anyone and not worry about anyone knowing who they really were. (This was when Internet trolls were born.)

As social media sites such as Facebook and Twitter took hold, people began to connect and communicate in new ways. It was easy to communicate with family, friends, acquaintances, and those outside the normal person’s circle – politicians, businesses, celebrities – you name it. A person could connect to just about anybody else in the world through social media outlets. Information now travels around the world with the speed of light. That’s a good thing. The bad thing: civility took another hit. Now a person can verbally attack anybody as easily and as quickly as I could type this sentence, and reach a wide audience with speed. The effect is somewhat less on Facebook, where - technically - people are supposed to sign up using their real name, and where they should only “friend” those they actually know. But this doesn’t exempt members of Facebook from being attacked with words by someone they call a “friend.” On Twitter, however, one can set up any name they want (as long as it doesn’t exceed a certain number of characters) so people can be whomever they want. The good side is that people aren’t afraid to say what they really think, a plus for freedom of speech. The downside is that people aren’t afraid to say what they really think, and some cross the line with their words. I’m amazed at how shocked people can be when they send an angry tweet, or post an inappropriate photo, or say something incredibly stupid or insensitive, and they find it coming back to bite them. This has been evident more with high profile “tweeters” such as celebrities and politicians who likely have large followings and whose slip-ups on Twitter can spread exponentially.

Trouble on social media can be avoided by following some very simple guidelines:


1. What you write is likely out there forever and likely accessible to the public. Sure, some sites have privacy controls,  and updates, tweets, photos and videos can be deleted, but that doesn’t mean someone hasn’t copied it or forwarded it someone else before you deleted it. THINK before you post your message. Your words, photos, and videos can follow you for life.

2. Never post photos on the Internet that you wouldn’t want your parents, grandparents, children, spouse, significant other, constituents, boss, co-workers, potential employers, etc. to see. Because if you do, they will.

3. Write your message as if the person reading it is standing right in front of you. Most people aren’t likely to insult someone right to their face, at least not without thinking about it first.

4. There is such a thing as too much information. You don’t have to tell everyone every little single thing you do or think, and no one likes a braggart. Keep your messages brief and your posts to a minimum.

5. If you post something on social media, expect feedback. If what you posted is controversial, you’ll REALLY get feedback, and, in the case of Twitter, likely from people who may not follow you. Remember, by sharing on public social media, you asked for it. You reap what you sow.

6. Don’t call people names or swear at them, period. It’s childish and serves no purpose.

7. Never post in anger. Think about the damage your words can cause…to yourself, your image, your reputation, and even family and friends.


Social media is an excellent way to stay connected to both your inner circle and the rest of the world. When used correctly, social media can inform, unite, and inspire others. When used incorrectly, it can ruin friendships, destroy a person’s image, create hard feelings, and alienate people. It’s not hard to use social media in a manner that brings out the best in people. By starting with thinking before you post, and by being civil, we can encourage the best in others!



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Twitter: Pointless Babble? I Say No.

Back in February, I wrote that I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to join the Twitter party, or watch from the sidelines I decided to join the party soon after those comments, and I have a two Twitter accounts. My family and friends have still stayed off the Twitter bandwagon, however. I use Twitter to keep people up to date on my blogs, and I have to admit that I find it a quick, easy way to keep up on what other people are doing. (The real time search is also great.)

A recent study by Pear Analytics says that 40% of the tweets are “pointless babble.” I ask – is this really a problem? I thought the whole point of Twitter was quick and brief communication, not about high quality content. While I don’t tell people what I am doing every minute of the day, I have to say that I enjoy some of the “pointless babble” that goes on out there, some of which actually put an interesting spin on the mundane. Sometimes I will just look at some of my followers and whom they follow, and delve into their tweets just to get a snapshot of what is going on in the world. Some of it is silly, but a lot that may appear to be pointless babble really may make sense if you look at the person’s tweets over a period of time.

The full breakdown of categories measured by Pear Analytics are as follows, in case you are interested:

Total News 3.69%
Total Spam 3.75%
Total Self Promotion 5.85%
Total Pointless Babble 40.55%
Total Conversational 37.55
Total Pass Along Value 8.70


My only complaint about Twitter is that they certainly seem to have capacity issues, downtime issues, and security issues. But content issues – I have no problem at all with pointless babble. It's a lot like how my own mind works!


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Google Latitude: Big Brother Won’t Be Watching Me

Google recently released an update to the popular Google Maps. called Google Latitude, which provides the ability to track your location real time. It’s been in beta testing for a while, but now it’s ready for everyone to use.

It can be used with any mobile device (like your cell phone), or on your PC. It will track your location in real time, so anyone to whom you allow access to view your location in Google Latitude can see where you are at the present time. (See the short video below from Google, which shows how it works.)

Maybe it’s just me, but why does this mildly creep me out? Are we giving away too much information about ourselves? Granted, you need only allow access to those people who you want to see your location, but the fact that the information is being collected by some outside source bothers me a bit. I’m not worried about my relatives seeing my whereabouts. They already know that on the days and times that I blog a lot I am nailed to my chair in front of a computer. But do they really need to potentially see where I am every time I leave the house? My concern is what other people can do with this information. Maybe I grew up in an area where the book “1984” by George Orwell with “Big Brother” watching you was a concept that terrified, but this does seem too much like “Big Brother” to me. A recent article from Computer World speaks to some of the risks:

Used correctly, such a system can offer great benefits, but misuse can be equally damaging. Even if Google have built a 'privacy-positive' system there are residual privacy risks, which include:

Latitude installed on mobile devices without the users' knowledge - for example, a jealous partner installing it on their partner's phone to track where they go (if they have physical access to the handset then this should be trivial to accomplish);

Hacks used to install Latitude on a handset without the need for physical verification, or to suppress warning messages that the service is running;

Users simply forgetting that their handset is transmitting their location when they go somewhere that they wish to keep from others;

Unauthorised access to back-end services such that an unauthorised user can track individuals' locations.

Privacy advocates have already commented on these problems, but my biggest concern is the inevitability of irresponsible sharing of location data by users who don't really know the other parties involved. Take a look at the willingness with which many social networking users will share a lot of personal information with people that they've never met before. It would be very easy to integrate Latitude with Facebook or Myspace, and as soon as that happens, users will open up their location to their entire address book, or even to any user at all. It would then seem to be a matter of time before we see frauds, burglaries and physical assaults inspired by a user's location.


Yikes! Too much information can possibly get into the wrong hands. And despite the fact that Google reportedly says they won’t be storing the information about your location, somehow I just don’t trust that it will stay this way. The next thing you know, someone could be issuing subpoenas for the information and people could find their harmless trips and jaunts to come back to haunt them in ways they never expected, or in ways I can’t even imagine yet. OK, I am watching too much Law & Order.

I suppose that part of my problem is that I have always been a private person, and likewise with web services like Facebook and Twitter, I just don’t see the need for someone to know where I am and what I am doing every minute of the day. My life is not so important in the grand scheme of things that I have to report on every little detail. By the way, I do have a Facebook account, but I only have two friends, both are relatives. I don’t feel like that makes me some sort of social loser. If I want to keep in touch, there is always my double-secret personal blog, a phone, and email for those people I don’t see regularly. They are also busy enough that they don’t need to watch out for what I’m doing.

I wrote the other day about turning up my nose at Twitter – and I may be softening on the issue as it relates to my blogs. But Google Latitude is just too much for this private person to bear.






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